I'm a big fat slob...

Back before there was the major motion picture Strangers With Candy, it was this little known series on Comedy Central that Kevin and I used to watch ALL the time (during the courtship phase of our relationship), and we would crack the heck up at the outrageous antics of Jerri Blank, the 46-year-old ex-con, ex-junkie, high-school freshman at Flatpoint High. In one of these twisted episodes, Jerri says over and over in her Jerri voice as she's rubbing her hands up and down her Jerri body in a freakish and disturbinf way, "I'm a big fat slob. I'm a big fat slob." But the WAY she said it, was more like, "I'm a big fat slooooooob." Hysterical. Maybe you had to be there.

Anyway, this particular line of hers has been popular for my husband and I to repeat on occasion... for instance after we've overindulged in a decadent meal (AND dessert) or when one or the other catches sight (accidentally, of course) of the other's bare flabby (and in the case of my husband - hairy) flesh. That's when we bust out this line. And it always causes the other person to crack up.

However, at the moment, I'm feeling down about my weight and the fact that I keep losing and gaining back the SAME 8 pounds. I'm just really frustrated. And for that, all I can say is "I'm a big fat sloooooob."

And I'm not laughing about it.

Mostly because while I know I'm not really a big fat slob, I still feel like a failure for not being able to reach and maintain my fitness goals. I was a Jane Fonda work out ADDICT in high school. The picture of fitness. What happened?!?

Then, I watch The Biggest Loser and my jaw drops in awe at these people who have lost 60, 90, 120 pounds! Surely if they can lose an entire person's worth of weight, I can manage to take off 10 pounds, keep it off, and then go for another 10, right?

So, why is it that when I'm down 8 pounds (like I was at the end of the summer and into the fall), and when I'm feeling great about the fact that my clothes are fitting me much better, and I can see more muscle definition, and my libido has increased, why, then, do I become complacent and stop exercising for 6 weeks, gaining back every ounce, rather than continue to work towards losing more weight to achieve my goals?!?

UGGGH!

So, this week, now that I'm back to my previous starting point, my heaviest non-pregnancy weight, I've decided to get back on the fitness wagon by working out regularly again and trying to make the best food choices possible (I have a little problem with LOVING, and indulging in food & wine regularly, which doesn't help).

I'm going back to being a YBB Goddess. The Joyful Warrior, battling the winter weight bulge.

Although I really enjoy my Yoga Booty Ballet DVDs, I just ordered Shaun T's Hip Hop Abs. Hopefully this new work out program will help keep me motivated, and I can always switch it up with my beloved YBB DVDs once in a while.

The thing I like most about YBB, besides the dance-y ballet part of it, is the reflection and positivity yoga part of it. When I first started doing it, Jordyn asked me if I was joining a new religion. There's a lot of moodra-ing, and mantra-ing, and setting intentions - See your intention...BE your intention! Spread love, shine brightly, aspire upward to the heavens, love honor and cherish your unique self. Which is all very cool and refreshing and uplifting to practice this positive self talk. Namaste.

I've heard tons of great things about HHA from my fellow YBB goddesses on the YBB message boards. So, I'm going to try it. I hear that HHA, like YBB, is very dance-y (hence the Hip Hop). And until I can spend 8 hours in the dance studio with Maksim training for Dancing with the Stars, this new HHA DVD series will have to do.

Speaking of Dancing with the Stars, can I just say that I have the most ginormous crush on Julianne??? What a CUTIE! I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Anyhow, wish me luck. I want to be the BIGGEST loser!