Today I'm half way to 70…dear GOD, when did I get so old?
I still feel like I'm 27, and my dh (the lovely liar that he is) sent me an email today telling me I still look 25. That's about how old I was when he and I met, 2 kids and 25 pounds ago.
Last night Jordyn found a Glamour Shot of me when I was 25 (yes, a GLAMOUR SHOT). She told me how pretty I was in that picture and how she thought the picture was of me when I was in high school. She put it in her binder to show everyone at school today. God bless her. Everyone should have a Jordyn in their life. The other day, when I became totally excited that my Hip Hop Abs DVDs had been delivered (which I LOVE, by the way), she said to me, "Mom, you're NOT fat". I told her thank you, but that it wasn't a question of being fAt, it was a question of being fIt, which I'm not.
Anyway, I don't know why 35 is such a difficult birthday for me, but it is.
Maybe it's because I'm now closer to 40 than I am to 30. (I know, I know, 40 is the new 30 - blah blah blah.)
Maybe it's because while I feel like a 27 year old, the numbers on my driver's license prove that I'm not.
Maybe it's because I still can't cope with (and can't seem to change) this middle-aged body that I have. Two chins and a cottage cheese arse? Lovely. (The three birthday donuts I've eaten today hasn't helped that situation!)
At least I'm fortunate to not yet have any gray hair (knock on wood). I attribute this to either: having good genes in the aging department (my dad could easily pass for someone 12 - 15 years younger than what he is) or it's because I visit Di every 5-6 weeks to have my hair highlighted. It certainly isn't due to a lack of stress, since I have PLENTY of THAT.
Hopefully this will be the only year that I have difficulty accepting my true age. I can't imagine what it would be like to feel this way year after year from here on out.
Actually, what I hope is that I don't ever start to feel my actual age. I hope that I always feel like I'm 27, even when I'm 67, and when I'm 87, and 107. They say you're only as old as you feel, right?
So, I guess I AM 27. Forever 27.
As bummed as I am about getting older, today is still a day of celebration.
I want to celebrate my parents, who after trying for 5 years to have their own biological children, they wanted to be parents so badly that they decided (at the old old ages of 25 & 26) to adopt my sister and then my brother, and after 7 years of marriage I was conceived by them and born (I'm glad they continued trying!)
I want to celebrate my mother, who went into labor and then waited at the hospital (while in LABOR with her breech baby) for my dad to return to the hospital so he could sign the papers giving authorization for my mom to have a c-section which, by the way, left her with a scar down the middle of her stomach the likes of which would surely cause a lawsuit if that type of procedure was done today.
I want to celebrate my mother for never, EVER, complaining about that scar. (at least not to me!)
I want to celebrate being alive and able bodied.
Happy Birthday to me.